Men That Circle Jerk Together

Coming Attractions

The wit, the utopian vision, and the pornographic utility of House of Holes all arise from the same fact of its fictional universe: no one is ever really shocked. Obscene declarations of desire are met with unsurprised calm. Sex is never so far out of mind as to be startling or unwelcome. A man, for example, sees a woman browsing in a novelty shop and begins to pant. “When I see someone with a certain kind of beauty,” he tells her, “I can come just looking at her. Would you mind?” Mind? “No, go ahead…. I’ll just be browsing around the store,” she replies.

And this is in the novel’s “real world,” outside the House of Holes, a sort of sex-themed summer camp for heterosexual grown-ups that operates in a different dimension from our universe. On the inside everyone is likewise unflappable, but in the face of more extraordinary activities and revelations. Here’s a House of Holes veteran talking to a relative newcomer:

There’s no such thing as a double take in House of Holes . After reading five or six chapters in a row of people talking this way, you get the dizzying sense that you too might slip into pornographic conversation with the next person you meet.

A world of universal arousal is common enough in pornography, but Baker has fully realized its comic possibilities—specifically, the possibilities that a roomful of horndogs offers for the use of deadpan, comic understatement, and up-tempo romantic repartee. Of course, the novelistic stakes are low—this is not a book invested in psychological realism. Baker can conjure fantastical sexual scenarios and unspool yards of charmingly filthy dialogue without having to worry much about the subtleties of his characters’ inner lives. There are some faint traces of a larger plot (cartoon-style villains to be defeated), but for the most part each chapter is a free-standing pornographic sketch that illuminates some new feature of the House of Holes. Each chapter’s mini-plot hinges on whether and how a character will reach orgasm, and most chapters obligingly end in florid exclamations of pleasure.

Ron Paul, Other GOP Members Plan 12-Man Circle Jerk Instead of ...

Paul campaign spokesman Gary Howard confirmed Wednesday, that Paul “has too much to plan for the circle jerk that he can’t make it” to the address. “Rep. Paul has to run around getting lube, towels, soft music, and saltine crackers.”

Paul joins a handful of other Republicans , including Sens. David Vitter of Louisiana and Jim DeMint of South Carolina, for a night of games and d*ck-pulling, instead of listening to a presidential address about the future of our nations job growth.

“The last guy has to eat it on a cracker,” Howard says. “Rep. Paul likes to be last, but would gladly give someone else the honor. He is very generous.”

Obama plans to outline a $300 billion proposal that the White House says will boost job creation and economic growth.

Paul’s camp insists that the refusal to attend wasn’t an embarrassing and direct slap to the president’s face, but is just due to poor planning.

“Soggy Biscuit is the only way me and my GOP colleagues can share flighty ideas and body fluids.

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